Dust and Grace

I spent the majority of my young adult years with a plan in mind.  A plan full of the gifts I expected God to give me.

-          Go to college

-          Meet the man of my dreams

-          Get married to said man of my dreams

-          Have babies with him

-          Live a picture perfect little life

While my plan took a few turns, ultimately it was panning out.  I had the degree, the husband, the job, and the baby.

And then all the “hit fit the shan” (iykyk)  Our perfect little sweetheart, only 12 months old, had leukemia. 

I lost all control that I thought I had.  It wasn’t a slow leak, it was a complete pipe burst. 

Cancer wasn’t even in my body, but if someone had been inside my brain, they may have been confused as my selfishness overtook my thoughts. Cancer was not only stealing my baby, but also my motherhood dreams, and stomping on every part of my plans for the future.  Stealing the gifts from above that were meant for me!   

Who did I think I was?!  Through it all I realized how much I demanded and expected from God.  Instead of surrendering to His leadership, I put all my efforts into making the life I wanted, and thought I deserved.

Let’s take a quick dive into two verses from the book of Job. 

 “At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship and said: ‘Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.’”

Job had everything—wealth, family, health—until, in a moment, it was ALL taken from him.

He was left in the dust, stripped of everything he had once controlled. His response? He grieved, but he also worshiped. He acknowledged that all he had was a gift from God, and even in his suffering, he chose to trust.

Job’s story reminds us that we, too, are dust. We enter the world with nothing, and we leave with nothing—but is God's Grace sustains us. Life’s trials reveal how little control we actually have, but surrendering our dust to God makes space for His grace to work.

What is something you are gripping tightly that you need to surrender to God as you enter this season of lent?